Question by <3 LOVE: Should I ask him to sign an agreement?
My boyfriend & I have been together for 6 years. Lived together for 3 years. We lived in crappy apartments for 2 & a half years. We had been saving our money like crazy to be able to afford a house. We weren’t 100% ready but the night our landlord or the police did nothing about the druggie losers upstairs bought a gun to our front door we knew it was time to get out & get out fast. We called a realtor the next day not expecting to find anything. But we found a 2004 house that was up for sale. Very close to his work. & closer to the hospital I wanted to work at. We bought it. Before we could buy it my boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident. (almost lost his foot, 2 ERs, 2 hospitals surgery) We settled our mortgaged. We moved it. Later to find out when my boyfriend was set to go back to work his boss called & said my boyfriend was laid off. The next call was that some one messed up the paper work for our mortgage the lady was so interested in getting her cut she lied about some information. The owner of the house knew were were already moved in. He turned out to be a family friend of both our parents. So he set up a monthly payment. It didn’t come off the bottom line (like rent to own) but we didn’t have much of a choice. I started working 2 jobs full time. While he was searching for a job. He found one they told us once he was at his job for 3 months they would send the loan threw again. In both our names like we had it the first time. I kept working both jobs 1 part time 1 full time to make up what the difference in his old job to his new job wages. Since then he also lost 2 weeks of work when his father was in the hospital & funeral time. I had vacation time so I still got paid for my time off to be with him & his family. He’s now been working his job for 3 months so we reapplied. Turns out we got screwed again!!! They said because he was on short term disability & unemployment, his credit took a huge hit.
But the good news is I was able to pay off just about all my debts because I was working so many extra hours. The first time I went to apply I didn’t have much credit since I’m only 21 (22 now) The loan rep called yesterday I apply for the whole loan on my own!! But my boyfriend won’t be on the loan unless I add him later. (but I would have to refinance for him to be on it)
We have always said this is our house. I was really pushing for us to get married but now I’m so glad we didn’t because our credit both would have been low. We would have lost our house & really been in trouble. Now the loan is going threw as just me. EVERYTHING in my name….
I do love my boyfriend & know he wouldn’t leave. If he did I could afford everything myself. Is it wrong of me to have him sign a paper like a lease? I don’t want to hurt his feelings either. I want to get engaged very soon. With everything that has gone on there was no time. The money we were saving to pay off my engagement ring & a wedding & honeymoon went to help his mom get threw until his fathers life insurance came threw. & we helped pay for the funeral.
What should my next step be?
I was thinking some thing along the lines if he does move out he pays me 0 a month for 6 months. Just so I can stay on my free. Also add in there that if I’m killed before we get married the house goes to him. & if we get married & then don’t work out he doesn’t have to pay me anything but the house is mine??
I was thinking the 0 just because if he would leave I would make it but things are going to very very tight for me. Plus going to back working a ton of hours. Just to give me a comfort net.
Best answer:
Answer by TimnaDunn
You already asked this question. Stop trolling the same question.
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If you can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be even thinking about getting married. And you sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking “if we get married & then don’t work out”
No offense, but you have a looooong way to go before you’re mature enough for marriage. What’s your rush?
If the house is solely in your name do not think he would be responsible for it….though check laws because some states allow that if two people live together for so long it’s like a common law marriage or something like that. If and when you get married……be sure and get a pre-nuptial agreement….makes things so much easier and simpler if things fall apart.
If you could afford the house {and get to keep it} and he is not on the papers. Why would you want him to pay you 200.00 dollars for 6 months? I dont think that makes any sense at all. However on the if something happens to you ,you want him to get the house.Yes I would both of you sign a paper stating that.
And if later down the line you do get married then you could maybe refinance {way down the line}.
You said you both think of it as your house together as long as that is what you guys are feeling then being on the paper is not really that big of a deal as of right now.
I’m still trying to figure out why you would want him to pay you 200.00 it makes zero sense
yes you should….if he loves u he wll come to an agreement to help u…and since evrythng is in ur name u deserve the house and im sure he knows it….dont listen to these other fools…….u wll b doing the right thing….just approach him n a nice way…just dont force it down his throat
contact:billingsmario@yahoo.com
I think the quickest way to put a strain on this relationship would be to ask him to sign a lease. Be proud of yourself as a woman that you can afford it and finance it on your own. No matter what happens in the future of this relationship you will always have a home that he can’t take from you.
i think you should u guys have been through ALOT (had a bad experience with our realtor so i know the feeling that u are going through) and also know the feeling with the loss of his dad ( i lost mine last june). i think that is nice of you to telp his mom (not many good people like that now a days) well maybe start saving again and whenever u think that the time is right then start talking marriage. maybe wait a few months till everything is calmed down. best of luck to ya!