Question by say it all…: How would you handle this – hubby, in-laws…?
My husband has been out on injury for over 18 months now. As a result, monies are tighter and our savings has dwindled to – not much. So our car engine had major issues and we needed to borrow about k to fix it. My dad is not in a good position now and he’s been a generous lender in the past (when our well stopped working) so I didn’t want to ask him. We don’t often have to borrow money from others but I felt it was not “my turn” to ask someone for a short term loan.
My husband asked his mom – for the first time in over 20 years. She got money from her husband. All seemed to be well…it’s been a month, car engine completely rebuilt (by my hubby). We were able to refinance our mortgage for a significant savings and I am able to use that extra money to save to pay back the loan.
Then…my MIL visits Friday and proceeds to tell my husband that his step-dad (if you can call him that) is complaining about life…but also mentions that he thinks my husband should go out and get any job to pay back the money. (He can’t until worker’s comp releases him to work!). So now my husband is just plain mad. On one hand – he didn’t have that conversation and wasn’t there. On the other hand – he’s injured and he rebuilt the engine and saved us k that we really didn’t have. On top of that – it’s never been a problem for “them” to lend his 3 sisters tens of thousand of dollars with no payback expected….
So – I am able to pay back the loan this weekend and want to do so immediately because I don’t need the extra drama. However, my husband is so mad and he just wants to tell his step-dad to go pound sand.
I am wondering – how would you handle the payback? Just hand the check over with a thank you? or would you have something further to add?
As an aside: His mother is a very twisted person and she and her hubby argue about everything – they agree that they are just together because they figure it’s better then dying alone. She is complaining to her kids because her friends won’t listen anymore. They tell her to leave him…she stays for the money…
Best answer:
Answer by Rebecca
be the bigger person, hand him the cheque, and NEVER ask them for anything. I would just keep it to the minimum with them, to keep family relations civil.
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Just write “thank you” on the memo line of the check and hand it over
Let all the other crap pass like water under a bridge
Some fights are not worth the energy
I would give him the money back inside a thank-you card- and hand it to him personally. I’d disregard any hearsay quotes your MIL attributed to him, she may have been creating drama!
Be pleasant and gracious to him; if nothing else, you will look like the better person.
It’s wrong that they aren’t as generous with your husband as they are with his sisters. However, you guys were loaned the money during your time of need. Imagine if they hadn’t have given it to you. I’m sure you were grateful when you received it. If he were my son I would feel awful taking it from him since he’s out of work. Just pay them. You never know if another emergency were to crop up and you needed help again. Try to avoid doing so if at all possible. Paying them will give them nothing to say.
Personally, I would pay back by check a.s.a.p., thank them for the loan, and never ask again. There’s not much you can do about their interpersonal conflicts, but it sounds like they’re not a good source for future loans.
I’m just curious how your husband is able to rebuild an engine but he is off on disability due to an injury.
Just curious.